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Single · Out now · Oct 2026

It Still Matters

Mara N.O.S

This one is about a friendship that ended without ending. No fight, no wrong word, just two lives getting busy in different cities until next month somehow became never. Calls turned into messages, messages into birthdays, birthdays into thinking of you without saying so.

For a while I thought that meant it failed, like it only counted if it lasted. Then last week something stupid made me laugh, something only you would get, and my hand went to the phone before I remembered. I don't hate your new life, but I miss being in it.

I don't need it back to know it was real. Real years don't expire just because we stopped. Your number is still in my phone, low on the list, and if it ever lights up, I'll pick up.

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Single · Out now · Oct 2026

Started In The Middle

Alex N.O.S & Mara N.O.S

This one is about a conversation that needed no beginning. One night a voice answered before I finished the thought, and I know no one was there. It was my own head, talking kindly to itself.

Morning took the words, all of them. But my shoulders remembered how light they had been. That same day someone asked about my week, and I heard myself start at the beginning, like always, building the whole road just to walk ten steps.

I don't miss the answer. The words were never the point. I miss the weight that wasn't there when I finally spoke, and now I know what I'm listening for.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

No One Could Feel Me

Alex N.O.S

For a long time I ran my days like orders, and I kept every one. I cut out whatever made me soft, the noise and the people too, and turned myself into the general of all of it. It worked, and I was proud of it.

The cost was that nothing could reach me. I could lead a room and somehow never be in it, and what I called being safe was being alone. I don't regret the discipline, it carried me, but strength without a heart stays cold.

For a long time I thought I had to choose between being strong and being felt. The plan was never the problem, so the structure stayed. What came home was me.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

Just Enough

Alex N.O.S

I met her in her worst year, and I stayed on the line through the miles at the hours she chose. She was paid to be wanted and I knew it, but I thought my wanting was different because mine was free. She never said she wanted me and never said she didn't, so I built a life inside that gap.

She gave me just enough to keep me giving everything: a little time, a little light at midnight, a camera that stopped at the lace. Then I found out about the others, and that what stayed covered for me was never covered for them. I was never her person, only her proof that she could still be wanted.

I don't hate her. She was drowning and I was something that floated, and some nights I still miss being near. The little light still comes on at the same hour, but I don't answer anymore, and it goes dark without me.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The Version They Followed

Alex N.O.S

I learned what worked online: short jokes, fast cuts, a face people remembered. The audience grew to twenty-five thousand, and a television crew came into my living room. For a while it looked like proof that I had finally become visible.

The better it worked, the less of me was left in it. When I tried to say something real, people laughed, because once you become the joke, some forget there is a person underneath. Nothing was failing, and that was the problem.

So I deleted the account. The room stayed empty, and I stayed. For the first time in a long time, I could hear my own voice.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

I Wanted It Until It Came Close

Alex N.O.S

For years I believed this was what I wanted: to be seen, to be chosen, to finally know I wasn't invisible. Then she arrived, new and younger than most, and the looks started lasting longer.

But when it came close, it didn't feel like relief. Everything in me went quiet, not from desire but from something old that felt too familiar. She did nothing wrong, which made it harder.

So I gave short answers and turned back to the screen. Not because I was afraid of her, but because I didn't trust the part of me that still remembered why I had wanted this so much. I let the moment die there.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

Five Seconds

Alex N.O.S

My last evening there, she came over to my table. She wanted to be seen, and I saw her. Five seconds, nobody looked away, and more happened in that silence than in whole evenings before.

She stayed near like she was waiting for a door I didn't open. I wanted her number, wanted all of it, and I let it pass. Not fear, a choice.

I don't wish it went further, and I still go back to it. Both are true. I still have the five seconds.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The Question They Never Ask

Alex N.O.S

They knew his name and his story. They asked how he was, what he was doing, what came next, and I sat there, close enough to hear it, far enough to disappear. Nobody meant to erase me, but it kept happening, one skipped question at a time.

So I stopped handing people pieces of myself just to make them curious. I kept things quiet and built whole worlds nobody knew about: music, code, ideas, a life behind the silence. Being unseen does something strange: first you disappear, then one day you notice you can build yourself without an audience.

No anger, no begging: I was there the whole time, not waiting to be saved, just waiting for one question that never came. So I learned to answer for myself. By the time you finally ask, I already know what I will say.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

Someone I Never Met

Alex N.O.S

One morning I woke up grieving someone who never existed. A woman from a dream, no name, no history, who looked at me like there was nothing to explain and nothing in me that needed fixing.

I knew she wasn't real. No number, no street, no place to return to. But the days after still felt emptier, and long after her face faded, the feeling refused to go.

Maybe I never missed her, maybe I missed the man I was while she was looking at me. She was never real, but the feeling was, and it stayed. If it ever finds me awake, I will recognize it.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

You Dont Get To Name Me

Alex N.O.S

People saw the wheelchair before they saw me. One detail became a whole story before I ever said a word: lowered voices, questions asked to the person beside me, as if I wasn't there.

I've been called brave for ordinary things, fragile before I even moved, inspiring before anyone knew me. Some of it was kindness, some of it pity. But even gentle words can become walls when everyone keeps telling you who they think you are.

So I stopped correcting them and stopped carrying what was never mine. Their version of me can stay with them. What they saw was real, it just wasn't all of me.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The First Joke After The Dark

Alex N.O.S

There were nights when nothing was funny. White walls, cold light, a room that smelled like chemicals, pain so loud it made the whole world feel small. People kept asking how bad it was, like pain could fit inside a number, so I stopped trying to explain it.

Then the first joke after the dark came back: small, mean, almost stupid, but mine. I didn't laugh because it stopped hurting. I laughed because somewhere underneath, I was still there.

It wasn't brave, it wasn't beautiful, it wasn't healing. The pain was still there, the room was still cold, nothing had changed except one thing: I could laugh again. As long as I can do that, the dark doesn't get the last word.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

I Changed Before Anyone Noticed

Alex N.O.S

This one is about a change that happened without witnesses. No announcement, no single decision, just small things left undone: a message not sent, a place not returned to, a name I stopped reaching for.

By the time anyone noticed, the hardest part was already over. They saw the distance and the quiet and called me cold, as if I had woken up one morning with another face. They saw the boundary, not the nights it took to build it.

There is no anger in it. Nobody saw it happen, and that is alright. I was there for all of it.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

Some Things Dont Need A Witness

Alex N.O.S

This one is about the choices nobody sees. The message you never send, the hand you finally pull back, the thing you could return to and don't.

There is always an easier choice, a softer lie, a way to disappear without anyone calling it failure. The world sees the result later. It never sees the cost, or the thousand quiet moments that built it.

I know what it cost me, and I know who I chose not to become. No one was there to see it. I was.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The Machine Never Wanted Anything

Alex N.O.S

People look at the instrument and think that explains the song. They judge how something happened before they ever ask why it exists at all.

A camera never missed a moment until someone raised it. A piano never wrote anything, it waited for a hand. A tool can shape and carry and change, but it cannot say why one note brings back an entire year.

The meaning was never in the machine, it was in the hand that reached for it. The machine never wanted anything. I did.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

When I Stopped Looking Up

Alex N.O.S

I learned love from stories where the boy waits and bleeds and proves himself worthy. I believed it.

So I put her above me before she ever asked, became smaller and quieter and easier to keep, and called it love while I disappeared. She never asked for any of it. The cage was mine, built out of hope.

Then I stopped looking up, and there was no god and no prize, just a woman and a man, eye to eye. Now when she stands in front of me, I don't look up. I look at her.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The Zombie in the Mirror

Alex N.O.S

I woke up and my face didn't look like mine. The skin split open, turned red, spread. Every morning there was more of it and less of me. The horror wasn't what I saw in the mirror. It was wondering if anyone else could still see me underneath.

People looked, then looked away. Strangers kept their distance, as if broken skin meant something inside was broken too. That got inside my head more than the wounds did. I stopped wanting photographs. Stopped trusting bright rooms. Stopped looking too long at anything reflective. I knew I was still there: same voice, same mind, same fire. But when the outside keeps screaming louder than the inside, you start forgetting which one is you.

Then slowly the red began to fade. The cracks closed, the burning stopped, and something familiar came back piece by piece. I looked again. No monster, no blood, no cracks. Just skin, just breath, just me. For the first time in a long time, I recognized my own face.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The Life I Kept On Hold

Alex N.O.S

A song about waiting. I kept my life on hold and called it circumstance, waited for a rescue that was never going to come. For years I had good reasons, until every explanation started sounding like my name.

To be fair: some things really couldn't change. But some I only thought couldn't, and after a while both felt exactly the same. Pain became familiar, so familiar I almost called it home.

No sign came, no perfect moment, nothing suddenly became clear. I just chose one direction and moved, away from the place I kept calling safe. No monster, no curse: just a door, and my hand on the handle.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The Same Kind Of Different

Alex N.O.S

This one looks at the crowd first. Everybody wants to be different, and that is exactly what makes them look alike, talk alike, think alike. Opinions get passed around until nobody remembers what they actually like.

Even being yourself arrives with instructions now, down to what you should want and what you should hate. Question them and you are the strange one. I stopped needing my life to look right to people who never chose their own.

What stays is quiet. Being myself was never about being louder or easier to see, only about knowing why I think the way I do when nobody agrees. I would rather be misunderstood than one more copy calling itself original.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

The World Behind The Glass

Alex N.O.S

This one is about looking long enough at the perfect version: the rooms, the light, the smiles held still at the right time. Some of it is real. But some of it cracks the moment the camera turns away.

Once you see it, you see it everywhere: the distance hidden in a photograph, the silence dressed up as peace. I don't envy much anymore. Too many perfect things have fallen apart up close.

Still, I don't want cynicism. I still want something beautiful, just the honest kind that stays when the lights go out and the phones go down. Maybe beautiful was never perfect, maybe it is what remains when nothing has to pretend.

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Single · Out now · Sep 2026

A Life That Fits Me

Alex N.O.S

After the long search for who you want to be, a different question arrives: what kind of life actually fits that man? Not what should impress anyone. Not what looks successful from the outside.

Space. Calm. Work that means something. People who require no performance. A love that adds to a life instead of swallowing it.

The late answer to Polaris Origin: I stopped searching for the right life — and started defining mine.

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Single · Out now · Aug 2026

What Real Felt Like

Alex N.O.S

One of the quietest, most personal pieces. Not about a woman to win back — about an encounter that changed the standard: warmth, attention, calm, real listening. The feeling that the person behind the beauty is true as well.

And a line that was never crossed: she wasn’t free. So this is no rescue fantasy — if she ever wanted freedom, that choice was hers alone.

What remains is gratitude: now I know what real feels like for me. Below that, nothing is interesting anymore.

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Single · Out now · Aug 2026

The Night I Chose To Stay

Alex N.O.S

The counterpart to I Wasn’t Meant To Survive. There, others predicted the end. Here, one night, even I was tired enough not to want a next morning.

The song refuses to make it heroic. No magic moment. No sudden light. Just one more breath. Then another. Until you notice you are not only surviving anymore — you are living again.

Finding your way back to life can start far smaller than people believe.

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Single · Out now · Aug 2026

The Door Was Never Locked

Alex N.O.S

About the moments you believe you are trapped — waiting for permission, for courage, for the right time, for certainty, for a sign.

And then it strikes you: maybe nothing is holding me at all. Maybe I never pressed the handle.

It turns a familiar idea around: you don’t become brave first and act second. You act — and take the fear with you.

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Single · Out now · Aug 2026

The Life I Almost Lived

Alex N.O.S

A melancholic look at the lives that never happened. Not at an old self — at all the possible versions of a future: the person you might have become, the place you might have lived, the sentence you might have said, the yes that would have opened another story.

The song allows the question — what if? — but it doesn’t stay there.

I may wonder who that other man would have become. I would not trade my real life to find out.

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Single · Out now · Aug 2026

I Wasn't Meant To Survive

Alex N.O.S

The existence song. A life whose end others had predicted before it had properly begun — calculated, written off, sorted out. The song doesn’t just say „I survived“. It says: others computed why I shouldn’t be here — and I am here anyway.

And it goes further than defiance. When someone gives a part of their own life so that yours can continue, staying alive stops being a fact. It becomes a responsibility.

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Single · Out now · Aug 2026

The Man I Left Behind

Alex N.O.S

Not about physical survival anymore — about identity. The man who wanted to please. Who adapted, who rescued, who explained too much, who mistook approval for closeness.

The song doesn’t condemn him. He carried everything as far as he could. At some point, he had to stay behind.

The message is not „I hate who I was“. It is: thank you. I’ll take it from here.

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Single · Out now · Aug 2026

Love Is Already There (For Nikki)

Alex N.O.S

An alternative homage from a parallel universe. In Curry Barker's Obsession, a wish forces love into being. This is the version where nothing had to be forced.

Before the wish, Nikki already teases Bear, tests him, lets him closer than anyone else. In the end she asks whether he likes her. Little signs. Every chance. He never answers honestly while he still can.

In the film, the wish becomes a curse. The real Nikki stays trapped inside it and eventually wakes up among the bodies of her friends, everything she wanted destroyed. She had wanted to be a writer, and had told him that to write about real love, she would have to feel it first.

This song is the night he says yes. Maybe they would have fallen for each other. Maybe they would have stayed together, loved forever, or eventually walked away. He does not need to know. For once, it would have been their choice.

No wish. No control. No fear deciding for them. No changing who she was just so he could have her. Just her, him, and one honest answer. It was already there.

Written for the Nikki that Inde Navarrette gave us.

Independent tribute — no official connection to Obsession, Curry Barker or Rock Burwell. Inspired by, not affiliated with.

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Album · Out now · Mar 2026

Polaris Origin

Alex N.O.S

Where everything begins. Not a conventional record. A score to a real life in transition: the phase of leaving an old life behind. Not because everything was suddenly bad, but because continuing like before had become impossible.

There was no finished answer yet. No philosophy, no coach, no great moment of enlightenment. Only a decision: I will find out what I truly want, and become the man who fits it.

The North Star doesn't show the whole road. It gives you a direction. That was enough. Everything else grew from here.

„Hope“ is a quiet homage to Ludovico Einaudi's "Nuvole Bianche". His music carried me through that time, and this piece is my thank-you. Independent tribute, no affiliation.

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